I married a creeper!
by Le bum on the street
Summary: So Apparently I've been sucked into the wonderful world of minecraft and I'm married to a creeper named Captain!
1. Chapter 1

"AH!" Startled I switch off the blaring music. Placing a hand over my heart while taking in deep breaths to recover from my mini heart attack. Opening my eyes, I started up my '95 Chevy Silverado. 'Thank goodness work is over! Today definitely was a ball buster.' Being a greasy monkey for a career wasn't always sunshine and rainbows, at least I get to go home and relax every night. Turning the radio back on, I immediately turned down the volume. I turned my Ipod on and set it to my Guns 'n Roses playlist.

Pulling out of the parking lot, I felt a weird sensation wash over me, like I'm being watched. I brushed the feeling off as just being paranoid and began my drive home. The full moon making it's presence known, bathed the land in a soft glow. It was breath-taking to say the least, very beautiful. Chuckling, ' Simple things always blow your mind.'

Getting lost in the music and long twisting highway, I arrived home sooner than I realised. Turning everything off, I swung open the door and stepped out. Looking up the night sky catching my sight, hypnotizing beauty. Tearing my eyes away from the magnificent stars, I locked the truck and went inside my small one story house.

Slipping out of my sneakers, I flipped the news on and continued my way into the kitchen. Ripping open a bag of popcorn, I sank down into the lumpy couch, munching on a handful of the buttery goodness. A few moments later I turned my Xbox on and had minecraft loading. Sighing, I opened a new world naming it Land of Creepers. This was going to be good! I'm going to make a creeper farm or have a lot of creepers in one area without them blowing up on me...hopefully anyways.

About an hour or so into the game, me being totally immersed in it, jumped at the sudden loud clash of thunder. A storm must be rolling in, great just what I need. Getting that nagging feeling in the back of my mind, urging me to save my game. In the process of saving the power went out. "Fan-fucking-tastic!" Huffing in frustration, I leaned back listening to the harsh rain drops smacking against the west side of my house. To make matters worse...it's pitch black and I have no light source! Wait a second...I have a candle somewhere...forget it.

Sitting in the darkness, my agitation increased. "Why did I not buy those flashlights?! Or at least one for the matter!"

'What time is it?' Let's see I get off at eight, and it takes about an half hour from work plus an hour makes nine-thirty? Might as well turn in for the night and hope for power in the morning. Navigating through the mini maze of my house I plopped down onto my bed and pulled the covers over my head. I should have changed, too late now. Lead sitting on my lids, I gave in to sleep.

A huge crash of thunder had me jumping out of bed sucking wind. Wide-eyed I looked frantically around my small room. My relief was short-lived. Lightning striking so close, shaking I crawled under my bed, praying for the awful lightning to dissipate real soon. About ten intense seconds later a white flash engulfed my being, then nothing.

Blissfully floating along in the warm abyss. The weight of a body gone, just my mind in the comforting darkness. Good thing I'm not afraid of the dark I mused to myself. As nice as this was...it did get boring quick. It felt nice to be liberated from my body, but this has been long enough, I'm ready to reunite with it.

No such luck, for what feels like forever, I'm still stuck in this...suspended animation. Weary from thinking, my mind decided to ditch me and take a nap.

I'm warm, safe, and very cozy. Inhaling through my nose, an earthy scent was detected. Eh, whatever, I'll deal with it later. Nuzzling deeper into my pillow I guess you can call it, doesn't feel like a pillow. No, it feels scally, kind of like a snake. I don't have anything that fits that description. Not to mention whatever I'm snuggling up to is breathing!

Cracking my eyes just enough to see a big green blur in my face. Fully opening my eyes, to my horror is a CREEPER?! "EEP!" Yelping I jumped back, hitting my head against something, knocking me dizzy. "Uhg, I need to quit playing minecraft before I go to bed. Hey, the storm must be gone! Thank goodness!" Smiling to myself, I leaned back and let my equilibrium fix itself before standing.

Something doesn't feel right, taking in my surroundings I come to a terrifying realization. This is not my house! THE HELL?! Looking back towards the bed, to see the creeper wait creeper?! "SHIT!" I sprinted out of the wooden house, stumbling down the blocky terrain, looking out for more creepers.

This has to be some horrible dream! Looking back to see nothing chasing me, I crashed down a steep rocky hill, stupid limbs making sure to hit the sharp edges on the way down.  
A cold plunge into the ocean stopped my 'fantastic' tumble. panicking as I see the surface fade into a blue blur, this is so convenant, maybe I'll wake up soon. My lungs burning, started to tell me something...this has to be real. Minecraft...doesn't...exist...

Cold,dark,wetness consuming me, greedily sucking me down deeper.

Coming too, I didn't open my eyes this time, no. The warmth was enough, I don't want to see what is warming me. Feeling the sam scaly texture, I stroked a side and received a deep pur. I don't have a cat. Opening my eyes, I'm met with another creeper. Fuck it! If it wants to blow up then do it! Cringing and a few intense moments later, I peeped through cracked lids to see there was in fact a creeper...laying next to me. Wait can creepers even lay down?

Man this is weird. Yawning, I stretched taking a good look at the green mob creature next to me. It's eyes aren't black...no more like a deep emerald. What? This is not making any sense. Creepers blow up things! Why hasn't it gone cablooey yet?

"Creeper?" This is so dumb.

Emerald eyes staring intently at me " Creeper?" It copied in a deep rumbling voice...

"The hell?" I jumped up and backed away. " I'm definitely dreaming, yes, but why do my cuts hurt? Wait cuts?!" Sighing I sat down, what is going on?

" Are you alright?" The creeper asked startling me.

" You just talked!"

" Yes, you're acting strangely dear, is something the matter?"

WHATTHEFUCKIT'S TALKINGTOMEANDCALLINGMEDEAR?! "AAAAHHH!" This is a nightmare!

The green, blocky creature approached me slowly. " Please don't blow up." I repeated over and over, hoping it didn't blow me sky-high.

" Blow up? What are you talking about?" It questioned me. " You know I'm not like the others, especially after all this time we've been together!" It answered confused and I guess insulted.

It's just a dream, so why the hell not. " Yeah a whole day...that's real long time." I spat sarcastically.

"A day?! Do you have amnesia or something? We've known each other for years."

"Right says the creeper that's going to blow up my nice everything..."

" SSSSSSSSSSSSsssssss!" It hissed enraged at me.

" FUCK!" I took off, this time a little more careful not to fall down a hill. Man this world would put stair treads to shame. I am so hitting the gym when I wake up, well consider joining one at least.

" Roxy wait!" The creature yelled for me.

To hell with that, I'm out of here! Sprinting for what felt like forever, I placed my hands on my knees and leaned forward, trying to catch my breath. Okay, at least no more creepers will spawn during the day. A talking creeper that doesn't blow up, what is this place?

Seeing no other signs of intelligent life is really discouraging. Sitting down, I leaned against a block of dirt. I think I lost that creeper, hope so. Okay time to analyze the situation here. A talking that doesn't blow you your nice everything, talks, I guess smart, and says we've been together for years, to top it off I'm in minecaft. Okay I'm going to pretend this is real for a minute here, so how did I get in the world of blocky wonders? That storm seems a possible suspect, only logical thing I can come up with.

So now the creeper, how and why does it talk? Another thing...it said ( gee this is going to ge some taking used to.) that we as in me and it have been together for years. Together how? Also I've only been here for a day or two at the max. This is making so much sense. My head aches, along with the rest of my battered limbs.

Why not? I layed my head back and fell asleep. Maybe I'll wake up in reality.

The next morning I presume, I wake up feeling well crappy for the most part. Rolling over my arm brushed against something warm and with smooth scales. Third time's a charm right? To hell with it. Opening my eyes, disappointment over took me. Sighing in mild depression, I looked over to see the creeper thing sleeping I guess. This is so damn weird.

I stroked the sie of its head. What can I say, I'm a minecraft nerd and creepers are so darn cute. Well right now anyways. I smiled sheepishly, only I would pet a creeper.

It started purring again, So I'm guessing they're cat-like? No? Yes? Not really paying attention, it woke up and caught me off guard.

" Mmmm good morning dear." It mumbled sleepily.

"AH Sweet baby biscuits!" I snatched my hand back away from the creature.

"Why are you so nervous around me, what happened?" it asked, hurt.

Feeling a little guilty, why should I feel guilty?! It's a creeper for crying out loud! Aw, fuck it. " I have no idea what's going on, or who...you are." I forced who out and tried not to appear nervous.

" You don't know who I am?" It whispered.

" No." I stated bluntly.

" Im your husband." The creeper's eyes lit up slightly with hope I suppose.

" YOU'RE WHAT?!" No way! I am not married to a creeper! This is one strange nightmare that's all!

" I love you..." It tried, slowly approaching me.

" Please tell me we don't have strange hybrid children as well..." I spoke aloud.

Reeling back, as if I stung it or something, " No we don't...we have been talking about it remember?"

"No!" How is that even possible? " How would that work even?"

" I can show you." It purred smoothly, approaching me.

" That's okay, um do you have any food in here?" My stomach growled to reinforce my question.

The creeper nodded its head towards a single chest. Slowly walking towards it I stopped, this is crazy. Shaking my head I opened the chest to learn it's full of apples, joy. Sinking my teeth into the crunchy sweetness, my mind changed instantly. These are good.

" you don't remember anything do you?"

I shook my head, and swallowed " Nope, so are there any people here?"

" In the jungle biome, yes. Half a world away."

Wait, please with a fucking cherry on top tell me I'm not the only human here! Hiding my mini panic attack into my next bite.

"You said it was nicer this way, because the villagers wouldn't except us." Desperateness shown in its unusual eyes.

" I wouldn't blame them." Bitch mode activated.

The creature sniffed and looked at me with mild shock.

" Look I'm sorry...what's your name?"

" Captain, your Captain!" It snuggled against me. "You're upset over something, please stop pretending you don't know me! You almost drown, But I saved you. Your Captain saved you."

" Thanks, for not letting me drown and all, but get off me!" I shoved the large green creature off of me. Talk about needy.

" I love you and you love me!"

"Uh...I'm going outside." The creep- Captain intercepted me and blocked the door.

"No you might wonder off and hurt yourself!"

" I'm going to explore upstairs then...by myself." I stalked up the stairs and opened the door to reveal a rather lavish room. Wow this is nice...for minecraft that is. I looked back to see...Captain coming up the stairs. I slammed the door and barricaded it with a heavy dresser.

This is going to scar me for life!

A/N: Okay well I know it's been forever. My writing skills are in the tubes. I'm writing this for a friend of mine and hope she likes it. I have no idea where I'm going to take this. I'm might rewrite it. Please review, and give me some ideas on this. Should I continue or not? Thanks for reading :D

Ya hear me Autumn I hope you like this! XD

Almost forgot!

disclaimer: I own nothing except the story, plot and Roxy. The rest of the content belongs to it's respectful owner(s).


	2. Chapter 2

Leaning back against the wooden wall, I let out a huff and closed my eyes. Sighing in defeat, I slowly slid down til I was sitting with my knees against my chest.

'This is disturbing on so many levels.' I want to get out of here, I want to go home. If this thing won't let me go outside, I'm going to go stir crazy! It makes everything worse with a name of its own.

Feeling sick, I lay on my side, curled in a fetal position. This is just one horrible nightmare...has to be.

After what feels like hours, I sit up, staring straight ahead. Must have fell asleep, judging how ..._he_ was next to me. My stomach twisting in knots, I spring up and launch myself at the door. running outside the house, I look back to see _him_ chasing me. 'STALKER!'

" Well if you quit running away, I wouldn't have to chase you!" _He_ yelled after me.

" WELL MAYBE I WANT SOME TIME FOR MYSELF TO FIGURE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" I stopped suddenly, whipping around to face_ him_, who in turn crashed into me, sending the us tumbling down a shallow hill.

"uuuhhhg" I moaned in pain. Somehow managed to get another scrape. Pushing myself up onto my elbows, I looked over to see _him_ out cold. Maybe..._he_ is dead? That thought saddened me, no terrified me. WHY?! This is so confusing!

Biting my lip, I made my mind up...to blow this popsicle stand and get the hell outta Dodge.

I know it's cold-hearted, but the thought of being isolate with just one other...creature is scary!

**THIS IS A LINE, THIS IS A LINE, WATCH IT DANCE!**

"Here puppy, puppy, puppy." I've been trying to get the blocky dog to come towards me for an hour with no such luck. Sighing I gave up, I need a bone or two in order for me tame it. Funny thing is there are no skellies around for me to beat to death.

Looking back at the creature I continued on my way. A few steps later, I felt a cold wet nose gently nudge my palm. Looking down to see the wolf looking intently at me. Okay, these thing are so much more adorable in person!

Letting it sniff my hand to see if it trusted me or not. The sweet thing licked my fingers and let me pet it. Maybe if it follows me, I can take it home and...I need one first, so tie it to a tree, that's cruel. Well if it wants to stay, it'll follow me or whatever. If I feed it, should probably stick around the area.

Trudging further through the taiga biome, I realized how freakin' cold it is, especially with just a tank top and pair or short-shorts. I so don't remember wearing these, how did I even change into them and where did i get them from? Doesn't matter, I just to sit next to a roaring fire and sleep.

Shoving my hands down into the pockets out of sheer habit, my right hand hit something hard, and decent size. Pulling out the rectangular brick, relief and joy overcame me. I have a piece of home with me! Fishing around in the pocket for a pair of headphones, I pulled out a very tangled up pair of ear buds! Now how did these come through with me? Fiddling around with the iPod, I forgot about how cold it is and scrolled through the endless list of songs to Wanderlust by Megadeth! Well this is definitely mine.

This will make life much easier...til the battery ran out that is.

My nose is turning numb along with my fingers and toes. I really need to fond somewhere. Hmmm...stuck in MINEcraft, I should be able to mine some wood. Turning to the closed tree, I punched hard and nearly broke my hand! Hissing in pain I made a mental note to not punch inanimate objects. Blonde moment! Trees are alive too.

Shaking my head at myself, I spot th wolf a few paces ahead of me staring back at me as if it wanted me to follow...at least I hope so.

Well following the dog proved good, it led me to a nice cave with ...lava. Won't I die from the caustic fumes? It's warm, to hell with it. Sitting on the far wall from the lava pool. Relaxing as my body began to thaw. To my surprise the doggy sat beside me. "Well if you're going to follow me around, you will need a name, how's that sound?"

The wolf licked my face "Ah! I take that as a yes!" giggling I pushed the dog off me.

" Hmm...let's see, how about Feral?" Judging by the look it's giving me, that would be a no.

" Ash?"

" Spike?"

"Vee?" The dog barked an affirmitive...I think, oh well.

" Alrighty Vee it is." I patted its head, when the thought about gender came to mind. Male or Female? I can always check in the morning. An awkward morning it'll be.

Soon vee fell asleep in my lap, snoring. Chuckling softly, I pet Vee's head, slowly drifting into dreamland myself.

**ARE YOU WATCHING THE DANCING LINE? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE...**

cAPTAIN'S POV (TURN OFF THE CAPS WOMAN!) NO! XD

Why is she always running from me? I just don't understand, she's acting like a total stranger. One day we're talking about children the next she's utterly repulsed from being near me.  
Did I do something wrong? Or did she bump her head to hard this time?

She's tearing a hole in my heart...

I love her so much!

" YOU HEAR ME ROXY I LOVE YOU!" I hope she finally realizes it.

sadness rolling off me in waves, where is she?!

In a frantic panic to find me beloved Roxy, I run into a pack of others like me...yet not.

"SSSSSSsssss"

**WHY DIDN'T YOU WATCH THE DANCING LINE?**

Well here's another go at this, I hope I didn't disappoint! Please I will bake you a batch of cookies for any ideas! Thanks to all of you for reading, and taking time to review this.

Til next time!

I always forget this thing... Disclaimer: I don't own Megadeth, I think Dave would be royally pissed XD


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up to something heavy and furry in my lap. Cracking open a lid to see Vee sleeping soundly. Smiling I placed my hand on the wolf's head. Looking out the entrance of the cave to see the sky laced in golden hues. Light peeking over the horizon, sweeping over the land, brightening everything. This is beautiful, the trees were bathed in yellow, the snow-covered leaves glistening. Now this what I'm talking about! I can sit here forever taking in the nature.

My stomach growling brought me out of my trance, I wish I grabbed a few of those apples. Absentmindly stroking Vee's soft gray fur, I closed my eyes. "What's on today's agenda?"

Stomach growling again, "Shut up!", I need to find some food.

My mind wandered back to the green creeper claiming to be my spouse, why do I even care? Maybe the needy thing knows how to get me home...like that'll happen. If he truly believes I'm his...wife, then why would he let me go? If you love something let it go and if it's meant to be it will come back, right? I hope he thinks so.

Or these 'villagers' might know how to send me back home. Now how do I locate them? If I recall right they are like nomads? Sighing I pinched the bridge of my nose, I so don't remember. I really need to pay more attention.

The sun rising into the sky and floating on the horizon I slipped out from Vee and stretched, a yawn escaping my mouth. Man I'm thirsty. Looking over to where Vee had been, I turned around to see the dog halfway out of the cave. Following behind the canine, I stopped to see it squat and begin to relieve itself. So Vee is a girl, sweet. Turning my back towards her to give some privacy, my own bladder reminded me of its existence.

Looking around, I found a really secluded area, surrounded by thick bushes. I pulled my shorts down and did my business, wishing for a roll of toilet paper. Doing my best not to really get anything on myself so i wouldn't have to about sanitizing my hands. Vee was sitting near the entrance of the cave waiting on me I suppose. Jogging over to the canine, I patted her head and in turn she wagged her tail. A small laugh escaped my lips, I picked up my Ipod and shoved it into my shallow right front pocket.

Alright we're set to go. I don't know if this applies to this world, but the sun rises in the east so I'm facing south. Where to go though? I came from the east so straight ahead? Sighing I shrugged my shoulders and looked at Vee, who is currently ahead of me to see if I'm following her.

About two or three hours later, judging by how high the sun is in the sky, we found a small pool of water. Yes! Falling to my knees I submerged my face into the cool unnatural blueness and drank my fill. Sitting up I gasped for air, flipping my soaked bangs back and smoothing them over. If only I had a bottle or something. Vee was lying under a tree, her amber eyes analyzing our surroundings.

I wonder if he's looking for me, my stomach twisted in fear and disgust, making me want to run straight on forever. Shaking my head, I'm being unreasonable. Yeah, but he's so creepy no pun intended. The whole children thing, still fresh in my mind, pumping motivation through my veins to continue.

Climbing up hill losing myself in my thoughts, what if he finds me? What about this other "me"? Is she in my world or does she even exist?

I wonder if anyone has noticed me gone yet. Maybe time works differently in this realm. "Uhg!" Slapping a hand to my aching head, "One thing at a time!"

Vee looked at me with concern, and nudged my palm with her muzzle. Smiling in a reassuring way I hope, I pet her head. "C'mon girl." I took off in a dead sprint, Vee at my heels.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Cappy's POV

Alarmed, I looked at the others contemplating if I should flee or continue on. One stepped forward, I stepped back. My decision made, I ran all the way back home, slamming the door behind me. "Please do not destroy our house." I whispered in false hope.

Sighing, I let the tear roll down my face. I wish Roxy were here. What if she's cold, or hungry? Is she even safe?! WHERE IS SHE?! I need you Roxy, I need you here with me. I love you more than anyone, you're the only one to show me any kind of love and affection.

Laying in our bed, rolling onto her side, taking in her tantalizing scent. She was always stubborn, fearless, beautiful.

I have to find her, take care of her. I want to start a family with her. Four years is enough time right?

Why did she run off? "AAAAAHHHH!" I screamed, I need to know if she's alright! I cried myself to sleep, promising to find her in the morning.

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It was about five in the evening when Vee and I discovered a tree full of apples! Talk about luck! Licking the sweet juice of my lips, a smile gracing my lips, if only they had these back home. Vee apparently likes apples too by the ways shes munching them down.

Sitting high on a mountain, Vee and I enjoying the scenery, this is awesome. I guess we can call it a day, the land beginning to cool off. At least we're out of the taiga biome, and now in some mountainous place. The only thing bothering me is the fact that it's too quiet. Pulling out my brick of an mp3 player, scrolling through one of the playlist I hardly listen, I picked Rich Man by 3oH!3, letting the beat take me away.

Hopefully we'll find the jungle biome tomorrow. That will be fun...I hope the ocelot are friendly. They are very beautiful animals. Maybe I can befirend...ok don't push the good luck you're having girl.

" I guess we're camping out under the stars tonight girl."

Vee lifted her head to look at me and laid her head back onto her forelegs. I take that as a yes.

Now to find those villagers...

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A/N: I know such a wonderful comeback after dying on y'all. I had surgery on my neck is the reason. I can start to get back to my life! :3 I'm so glad of that. Well let me know what you guys think of this. Ideas, suggestions, criticism, pm's...all welcome so feel free to hit me up. :D


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